Self Love and Acceptance
There is a kind of energy that radiates from within
Love in its purest form carries one of the highest healing frequencies that helps us heal our pain on all levels, connects our inner peace and joy. It is free and the access is unlimited but it depends on our ability to harvest it more deeply.
There is a kind of energy that radiates from within and influences your physical appearance and health, bringing in more youthfulness, even lightening up those around you.
Everyone talks about self-love; how important self-love it is and so many ways to self-love.
But what is self-love?
My own experiences of self-love, countless observations of my clients over many years and tons of readings and books later, lead me to feel it is the hardest lesson of all on the healing journey and by far the most difficult one to practice. I am talking from the place when you are in absolute bits and pieces.
It is no wonder that self-love is the most difficult practice of all. The first step that is required of you is to be absolutely vulnerable, to open your heart entirely to love and receive love, yet to do so feeling completely safe and secure.
Self-love is more than treating yourself to luxuries like shopping sprees, going out for coffee or on drinking dates with the girls, enjoying spa visits, hair and nail treatments and so on and so forth. I am not saying these acts of rewarding or treating yourself are not part of self-love or self-care but there is so much more to discover.
We have the ability to forgive everyone who harms us or brought harm into our lives, but we cannot forgive ourselves
The act of self-love requires you to know your inner-self, your limitations and boundaries, the ability to forgive yourself after you have forgiven the entire world. Often I find that we have the ability to forgive everyone who harms us or brought harm into our lives, but we cannot forgive ourselves. We can often forgive in others the very things we cannot forgive in ourselves. It is the compassionate way that you gently and consistently allow yourself to expand and grow, to learn and to move forward towards freedom.
I have seen women consistently criticise and judge themselves when their effort of ‘pushing’ the practice of self-love has not succeeded. This often leads to questioning what self-love is with more anger, rage and resentment; crying in despair, asking, “Please show me how and NOW.” In so many ways, their emotions and behaviours say subconsciously, “I don’t deserve it;” “I am not worthy of love.”
This is not trying to scare you away but neither will I cotton wool the experiences in order to entice you into this journey of feeling complete wholeness, blissfulness and empowerment once you get over the initial hurdle.
It may sound overwhelming and too much to cope with on top of the existing daily stress, but your self-love will take you to a different level; when we heal to a certain point, our enhanced ability to take on stress can feel almost supernatural, we are able to take on more stress, responsibilities and still continue to grow and expand. It takes time to nurture the gentleness in your heart, adding infinite amounts of love, compassion, kindness and patience. It is ‘you’ nurturing the seed of your Original Blueprint with the infinite potential power to germinate, then sprout and grow. In time it will blossom into the ‘who’ you truly are.
This seed contains the entire mini-version of you, the Original Blueprint, the one free from past wounds, staying in your purest essence of love and innocence.
“Your real home is not the house you live in but the stillness and peace in your heart”
True inner peace and joy begins with practicing loving kindness and compassion towards yourself. When you align with the love energy, and give yourself permission to step in and tune into the frequencies of love, your experience of the love replenishes your inner light, allowing it to emerge.
“Your real home is not the house you live in but the stillness and peace in your heart”
~ Ajahn Brahm
How do we take the first step towards it?
Recognise it and make a decision! I want to do it!
Is there self-love practice that you follow but it never quite has the result you are wishing for?
So, have you been pushing yourself over the edge by trying everything you heard about self-love practices? You read them somewhere and they worked on others. You feel if you keep trying, you will also receive the same result.
Trying too hard is an ancient survival mechanism derived from fear and not love
Start by not trying too hard. For this trying too hard is an ancient survival mechanism derived from fear and not love, which we picked up to protect ourselves and it stayed.
Practice resting and connect to your body. Feel what your body is trying to communicate with you. Rest is essential; integral for healing. Without the sufficient amount of rest, the healing sessions, retreats and all of those exercises you have practiced will not integrate properly, fully or stay long. Resting is more than sleep but also taking time out for yourself as a form of self-care, to release you from your busy lifestyle.
Give yourself some space and allow yourself to just be in the present moment and unwind. Sit or lie down comfortably in a place where you feel you can open your heart space for a few moments. Place all your daily hustle and bustle in an imaginary glass container so that you can see it and it can see you but for this moment, you cannot reach out to one another.
Close your eyes and look at yourself from above. Without any judgement, tell yourself what your best features are. If you really cannot look at yourself, just let it be; instead think of your best qualities. Practice just accepting you have some good features/qualities. Hold this thought and with each breath in, you draw in love and acceptance, and on each exhale, you release the negativity associated with your body/self-image.
Place your left hand on your Heart centre and right over your left, feeling into the love you have drawn in from each breath, recite the Self-Love Affirmations below:
Self-Love Affirmation
I validate my feelings. I honour my emotions. I choose to let those who value and respect me and my time into my life.
I am worthy of love, joy and happiness. I honour my wellbeing and a life of peace and harmony.
I lovingly and gently assert strong boundaries.
I embrace the knowing that I am lovable, worthy and deserving.
This affirmation enhances the healing of our subconscious mind to love the facets of our being.
I absolutely, unreservedly love every facet of myself with passion and creativity.
I shine like a star throughout eace and every day, radiating my inner light unapologetically like a wild fire set alight by love.
If you still find this practice of self-love hard to approach and unable to stick to as a daily routine, please use this technique, which has worked wonders for so many of my beautiful ladies:
A little fur ball of orange fluff, trembling in the corner
First of all, decide what animal/pet you define yourself as: a cat, dog, horse or bird person and choose one. I use a cat as an example.
Imagine a tiny, little fur ball of orange fluff with shiny, innocent, big eyes and a radiant, sweet glow, trembling in the corner and feeling rather scared from the events already experienced in this little one’s short life span.
Would you ever try to push this little creature out of the corner and say to him, “Go on, try harder?” Or, might you say, “Get over it and get on with it?” Or even, “You are not worthy of love nor deserve to receive love?”
A very little chance you would. So, if this little timid kitten was you, would you do the same to yourself?
Now imagine you are that little kitten. You have been feeling scared, deeply wounded, needing love, hugs, gentleness and patience… allow yourself to be this little kitten. Transfer the love you have given out freely and most abundantly towards your inner little kitten. Look into his eyes and let the love you would give out flow towards yourself.
Go into this transfer practice every time you find yourself unable to access self-love directly. In time, you will access your self-love to yourself without needing your inner animal.
Be creative with your little inner animal-self. Practice this daily and before you fall asleep every night.
Daily Gratitute
Give your daily gratitude from the centre of your heart to the Divinity. You don’t have to make a list; it is the depth of the feeling that counts, not the quantity. However, if to begin with, you cannot think of anything you are grateful for, take some time to reflect upon your whole life, gradually allowing positive thoughts to flow in, however small. Write down these thoughts of gratitude on a piece of paper and use it to remind yourself daily.
Remember to be honest and true to yourself about your gratitude. Consistency in this practice gradually helps you to ‘see’ and allow the acceptance of your own beauty/worth that you can’t or don’t want to see, before you go into other deeper self-love practices. Ahead is the emotional freedom that comes when you feel you have everything inside you, nothing lacking within you and that you are fully content with your present situation even when life is still full of stresses.
When you next enjoy the regular girls’ nights out or buy something special, get your hair and nails done or treat yourself with a spa visit, it will no longer be about the ‘need’ to make yourself happy but will be a choice or a reward after you have achieved something special. This is when you break free from the negative patterns and conditioning of the past and feel empowered!
Empowerment means you can be all of the following at the same time: kind, caring and aware; gentle and firm; strong and powerful; loving and able to maintain strong healthy boundaries.
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When we bring our stories into the light
When we bring our stories into the light, they can benefit and empower ourselves and others. I am running a series of different levels of women’s New Moon monthly online circles, navigating women towards their inner compass, to live an authentic life, empowering femininity and honouring our sacred feminine.
The stories shared by me and all taking part are powerful, precious and strictly confidential.
The first Empowering has been moved forward to August.
Options of 9am, 2:30pm or 8pm London GMT Time
August, 5th, Monday
September, 3rd, Tuesday
October, 1st, Tuesday
November, 1st, Friday
https://serenityapproach.com/empowering
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Healing is a life-long journey
If you are a sensitive person, incorporating a routine of Daily Energy Cleansing and Protection Practice will energise you.
The most incredible healing comes from deep within ourselves and the routine of what nourishes us. To deepen your experience of self-love exercises, practice the Grounding Meditation.
I have two blogs with helpful techniques list below.
For your Daily Energy Cleanse and Protection Practice
https://serenityapproach.com/blog/daily-energy-cleanse-and-protection-practice
For keeping yourself grounded with this Grounding Meditation
https://serenityapproach.com/blog/grounding-meditation
~ Leigh-Lin Shao